Relationships Require Emotional Creativity

When you think about the hard, dreary, and painful aspects of your romantic relationship, you probably don’t think to yourself—“I need to be more emotionally creative.” But that is the case—that is, if you want to stop being part of the problem and instead become part of the solution. couples therapy as creative work Human […]

Helping Men Be More Needy

Yes, the title is provocative. Purposefully so. Here’s why. I recall as a kid being perplexed when my mom played her records and I heard Barbra Streisand singing “people who need people are the luuuckiest people in the woooorrrlldd.” Aside from finding mom’s music nauseating, the idea of “needing” other people seemed like weakness and […]

codependency & personal power

Far too many people have learned to automatically and habitually give away their personal power. Without realizing what they’re doing, they repeatedly idealize other people (particularly authority figures and romantic interests) and then subjugate themselves to those people. Other patterns that often accompany this codependent relational style include: Difficulty in being assertive and in advocating […]

Negative Emotions: Toxic or Healthy?

“Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.” —Carl Jung Experiencing negative emotions is an unavoidable dimension of human life: fear, anger, jealousy/envy, anxiety, depression, insecurity, hopelessness, inadequacy, etc. We all grapple with these feelings at one time or another and on any given day their intensity can be minute, moderate or severe. Either way, […]

A bias toward action

Therapists are known to empathize. More and more, however, we need to mobilize. The passive, quiet, detached therapist is not much in demand these days in the therapy world. Clients seeking therapy in NYC increasingly report feeling stuck, and they want help generating energy, motivation and movement in their lives. Simultaneously, therapy clients want and […]

anger management & the holidays

Shortly after the holidays there is an uptick in people seeking therapy in NYC for anger management. It’s as if many of the feelings we have about family dynamics and relationships lie dormant, like sludge, at the bottom of a calm pond until the holidays burst into our lives like roaring speed-boats stirring up waves […]

Deconstructing Fear

Fear can be a life killer. It really can. I see people struggling with this every day in my therapy practice in the Flatiron District of Manhattan, NYC. And I have no trouble telling my therapy clients that I, too, know what this is like. In fact, it was such experiences in my own life […]

Emotional Mastery

We all know of people who pursue mastery in such things as chess, golf, painting, cooking, musicianship, martial arts and more. But something I’ve been thinking about a lot over the past year is emotional mastery. In fact, I’ve come to believe that the importance of mastering our own emotionality cannot be overestimated; it’s actually […]

Your Daily Practice

What does your daily practice consist of? If you’re like most people, this question leads you to draw a blank. “My daily practice??…what do you mean, like meditation or yoga or something…?” No, not exactly. Those things could very well be part of your daily practice, but what I’m referring to is something more fundamental […]

Befriending Anxiety

It is crucial for psychiatrists and therapists in NYC to educate clients that anxiety is not to be avoided, feared or simply doused with psychiatric medication. In fact, it needs to be pursued, befriended and mastered. different types of anxiety All competent mental health professionals agree that living well requires that we regularly take emotional […]

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