Monday, March 1, 2021

Critical Fat Care: Recovering from a Concussion


When you get into a car accident and you are Fat, a Woman and African American of Slave Decent, your experience is unique, to say the least. I still and always will believe that my life experiences as a Fat person, outweigh those of being a Black Woman. This could be different for other black women, however, this is my experience. Lets say, that I hope those reading are in the mainstream, chances are you will get proper service and care if something like this happens.

If you are not however, please note this: The farther you are away from the margins of this thing we call a “society”, the more complicated your experience may be. My advice, is to either be an advocate for those of us on the margins that you are friends with. On the other hand, if you are a person on the margins of society, be sure to always have “real” friends around to support you.

Having a lawyer as a friend may not be practical for everyone. However, having someone that can give you sound advice when you are incapable of doing so on your own, is essential. In addition, have someone that understands weight stigma and the identity markers that you may or may not be able to identify as an issue at the time.

I love a phrase from bell hooks in which she states “being a feminist in the true since of the word” is to care about all of the identity markers and not just your own. Sometimes, we are blinded by our own margin and cannot relate to others in the margins of society. Furthermore, simply, having someone that loves you and down-right smart, objective and have access to important resources when you are not able to make objective decisions and connections for yourself, is imperative.

Finally, I have since learned that selecting friends is not prejudice, I have always known this and have friends in the mainstream, and with identity markers other than my own whom are in the margins as well. Never have I experienced what bell hooks is talking about more, in terms of what it means to be a true feminist, until now. I am blessed to have friends a diverse group of friends that have enriched my life, made me a better person that I love and am loved by. It is very clear to me more than ever that being and having a “real friend(s)” can be a matter of life and death (figuratively and literally). I hope to be a better Feminist and Friend.

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