Phenomenal Women: A Portrait Gallery of Role Models by Robyn Hussa Farrell

In celebration of the 10th year of this empowerment blog site, #RealDeal Editor, Robyn Hussa Farrell, shares this “gallery of role models” and fierce women leaders. Each of the below paintings were created while reflecting on the abundance of women role models in my life.  In honor and celebration of each of them, I wanted […]

What If You Never Lose the Weight?

A topic that has cropped up with clients recently is the question of what to do if they keep trying to eat more healthfully, exercise and take better care of their bodies and still don’t lose weight. Clients dance around this question and I suspect I do too at times. They want reassurance that if […]

How to Calm Your Brain

I was looking through notes I took at a workshop I attended last year on “Calming An Overactive Brain,” and found some ideas which speak directly to why it’s difficult for dysregulated eaters to not reach for food when they’re in internal distress. My hope is that by understanding what goes on in your brain […]

What Are We Really Afraid of in Becoming Fat?

When clients talk about not wanting to be “fat” or become “fat,” I ask them what exactly that means to them. What images do they conjure up, what do those images say about them and the society we live in, and what is having a “fat” body all about for them, whatever their current weight? […]

Critical Fat Care: Recovering from a Concussion

When you get into a car accident and you are Fat, a Woman and African American of Slave Decent, your experience is unique, to say the least. I still and always will believe that my life experiences as a Fat person, outweigh those of being a Black Woman. This could be different for other black […]

Maintaining a Stable Sense of Self

Many dysregulated eaters find it difficult to keep a stable sense of self at all times, that is, to hold a core, positive regard for themselves that is undeniable and unwavering—no matter what. With an unstable sense of self, you feel fantastic about yourself when you’ve done well or when people like and praise you, […]

Self-compassion Is the Key to “Normal” Eating

Many people lack self-compassion, but it’s especially crucial for people who’ve come to hate their food failures and bodies. Make no mistake, lacking self-compassion puts you on the fast track to self-hate, so it’s a quality that none of us can afford to be without. First off, self-compassion is not: accepting unhealthy habits, giving up […]

Don’t Let Regrets Stress You Out or Push You Toward Food

Many people get hung up on regrets. What they wish they’d had or done takes up more real estate in their heads than the lives they’re currently living. To dwell in regret is like walking down a street looking backwards. While making yourself miserable, you miss the only part of your life that matters: now. […]

What If You Were Friends with Ingrid Nilsen or Caitlyn Jenner?

This week I’m so inspired by Ingrid Nilsen. She shared a video about her coming out journey that is really sweet and beautiful. Nilsen courageously wore her heart on her sleeve talking about the inner struggle she experienced. When a friend or family member shares their inner being, let’s be there for them. How can […]

Relationships Require Emotional Creativity

When you think about the hard, dreary, and painful aspects of your romantic relationship, you probably don’t think to yourself—“I need to be more emotionally creative.” But that is the case—that is, if you want to stop being part of the problem and instead become part of the solution. couples therapy as creative work Human […]

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