Hope For The Holidays
December 4, 2013 by Priscilla Jadallah
Filed under Anorexia, Anxiety, Binge Eating, Bulimia, Depression, Disordered Eating, Eating Disorders, EDNOS, Freedom, Healthy Communication, Healthy Communication, Healthy Coping, Healthy Eating, Livin in the Moment, Loving Your Body, Mindfulness, Recovery, Self-Acceptance, Self-Care, Self-Compassion, Sharing Feelings, Stress Management, Treatment, Wellness
The holidays can be a very magical and special time for many people around the world but for others the holidays equate stress, anxiety, sadness or anger. This can be for a variety of reasons, familial issues, relationship issues, money issues, health issues the list goes on. For some reason the holiday season is the flashlight that shines on many of these issues for so many. This blog post is written to hopefully shine the light away from all the stress and anxiety and shine the light on the ways you can turn the stress and anxiety into peace, comfort and joy As you are reading this I am sure you are saying how? I know many eating disorder blog posts related to the holidays are focused on the food and food anxiety associated with this time of year however I want to mainly focus on the emotional aspects associated not only surrounding food but surrounding holidays in general. Someone who has or is battling an eating disorder has created a relationship of priority and importance surrounding their eating disorder. For many who are still in their disorder the holidays reflect a time where protection needs to take place, protection meaning how do I avoid food this holiday? how do I not binge this holiday and have no one notice? how can I purge this holiday without anyone noticing? For someone in recovery the dilemma is how can I prepare for this holiday? how can I stay calm around food this holiday? how can I make sure I don’t under eat or overeat this holiday, I am sure the list of questions and thoughts go on and on. I am here to focus on the fact that these questions and worry feed into the anxiety and stress, do not get me wrong to be prepared and mindful and have a plan in place are of utmost importance however ruminating in the thought and worry will only increase thoughts and worry. Implementig action plans and solutions to counteract these thoughts is key. For many people that I work with the anticipation of the holiday is often times worse than the holiday itself. Acceptance of where you are at in your recovery or in your disease is a crucial first step for helping you create an action plan. Accepting and releasing- This is an important skill because so many people fight and beat themselves up over what they may be going through or facing in life. Accept that may be struggling, accept that things may not be where you want them be and release any guilt or shame associated with it.
Guilt and shame is truly like a prison that keeps you locked up, bound and stuck where you are. If someone who is struggling can come to a place of acceptance, then the light can be shown on the underlying issues that need to be cared for and addressed and movement can begin to happen. This holiday accept and release that this may be a hard time, a stressful time but its ok. Release the guilt and shame, release that it may be a hard time for you and accept that for anyone struggling you are doing your best and like any other day these holiday days will pass.
Mindfulness – Become aware of what triggers any emotional upsets or anxiety, whether it be food triggers or emotional triggers. Identify what they might be and for each one create an alternative thought or action. Many times when someone is triggered the reaction is off instinct. Instinct to push away or ignore feelings or to avoid, there is a lot of anger or sadness. When someone can become aware of what their triggers are and how it affects their behavior it can be empowering because then an alternative action plan can be created.
This holiday if food is your trigger think of a safety person or anchor (object) that you can reference or go to for extra support to help ease your anxiety. Visualize a safe space and take a moment for yourself to be in your safe visual space and breathe.
Presence- Be present with yourself often times someone who is battling or in recovery from an eating disorder has to learn how to reconnect mind body and spirit. An eating disorder serves for many as a way to disconnect from self, people and emotions. The concept of being present can be a difficult one.The concept of being and staying present is important because often times the build up of thoughts of what could or would happen is the catalyst for emotional turmoil and fear. This holiday season challenge yourself to stay present with where you will be, with the people surrounding you, to conversations, to the atmosphere. By becoming present you will allow yourself to become more aware and these are powerful skills to learn.
Prepare- For someone with an eating disorder the stress of being surrounded by food and what to eat and how much can be very tiring. If you are in recovery doing your best to stick to your meal plan the best you can. For anyone struggling doing your best to plan what you will eat so you have that mindset in motion and the worry and anxiety of what and how much can be thrown out the window and being present and aware can be implemented.
The anxiety of comments families or loved ones can make or conversations that may be triggering can cause a lot of anxiety. Be honest and open beforehand and ask that certain comments or conversations that may be triggering. By implementing action plans you are creating a safe place for you to be in to lessen worry and anxiety.
Love and compassion- Be loving and compassionate to yourself, the holidays can be hard, but participating in holidays when struggling with an eating disorder can be very challenging. Remember to be kind to yourself with your actions and thoughts. Reach out for support and allow yourself to be your own support system as well. Love and use your voice to be open with any struggles you may face and set boundaries with family or friends to help them understand your needs and wants.
By loving yourself you are allowing others to love and help you as well. Have hope, if the flashlight can be focused not on the stress, worry and anxiety but onto the hope that is within, chances are the light will showcase things that for someone struggling with an eating disorder they can begin to look at, focus on and be grateful. Lets shine the light on hope this holiday season and most of all shine the light of hope within ourselves.