Monday, October 24, 2016

it’s okay to wobble, just don’t fall down

Flashback to the 1970′s. Magic 8 Ball, Pet Rock, Silly String, Lite-Brite, Etch-A-Sketch, Mastermind and of course, Weebles. “Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.” You may even remember the commercial! They’re still around, 40+ years and counting!

Weebles are egg-shaped and bottom weighted so no matter what goes on around them, whether they are pushed, tilted or spun, gravity always pulls them back to an upright position. They are balanced and they can survive any wipeout!

Oftentimes people become emotionally wiped out when people, events or experiences feel disappointing or dissatisfying. When this happens, the fact that things didn’t go well gets turned inward and is used negatively against the self and in a flash, that person begins to feel not good enough or not enough, in general. A downward spiral ensues and so does the subsequent emotional wipeout.

So, like the weebles, we need to have a solid base that will always pull us back to an upright, solid position. I will call this base a secure sense of self. Part of this is the ability to recognize that not everything has to do with us. Sometimes things just don’t go well, sometimes others seem distant because they have things going on in their own lives, etc. And when things do have to do with us, it doesn’t have to demolish our self-esteem and turn everything else in our lives into mush. It is idealistic to suggest that external factors do not or should not impact even the securest sense of self but the question is how much. The key is to wobble but not to fall down (or be wiped out).

Those who know me have heard me talk, ad nauseam, about the importance of a secure sense of self and knowing your own truth no matter what. Who knew that I was talking about striving to be a Weeble?! Today I want to pass this along to you. Begin to think about it, talk about it and consider what it is you know to be true about yourself no matter what? When you think about what you know to be true, where do you feel it in your body? How do you feel when you hold onto these truths? More grounded? More solid? Do you sit straighter? Does your voice become more confident? Take some time, perhaps right now, to connect with your self and your body and see what happens when you explore this essential question for yourself.

Jodi Rubin, ACSW, LCSW

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