Friday, October 24, 2014

5 year old boy dares to dress as a girl, neighborhood moms freak.

WATRD blast from past, originally posted 11/2010

I found this story about a “Boo” a 5 year old boy who decided to dress up as Daphne from Scooby Doo quite interesting and I think you will too. His mother has an awesome post on the “aftermath” of Halloween, but here are the highlights.

The kid is concerned he will be made fun of, but decides, with the encouragement of his mother, to heck with it, I am going to be ME!

Halloween arrives, Boo is nervous, but he goes for it.

The kids think nothing of the boy in the girl costume.

But the MOTHER’s of the kids have an all out hissy fit over it.

As Boo’s mother explained “there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.

And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock  and dismay.

And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.

The mother of the boy responds with this kicker;

“If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.”

Is that classic or what??

I love it. My son is 7, and it’s become trendy to love pink (inspired by Breast Cancer Awareness). This morning he wanted his sisters pink shoe laces in his shoes, and I didn’t blink and put them in. I feel like these types of actions are necessary for this society to get over the ridiculous, stodgy, gender rules we force on people.

Boo’s mom goes on to state if her daughter wore a Batman costume, no one would care.  So true, and so damn typical. I was and I always will be a Tomboy. My daughter is a mini-me, and for her to have a “skater boy” style is considered cool. Why is it different for boys?

Are we THAT homophobic in this society or is it something deeper?

Are women so insecure and worried about what others think, that they limit their child’s imagination and creativity because it doesn’t fit the “norm?”

mV

WATRD

Comments

9 Responses to “5 year old boy dares to dress as a girl, neighborhood moms freak.”
  1. SG says:

    Moms like these help contribute to kids and teenagers who commit suicide. Because they are afraid to express who they are for fear of rejection.

    • mamaV says:

      Hi SG: You know I hate to say it, but you are absolutely right. As a mother, I can not imagine, under ANY circumstance, rejecting my child.

      This makes me think about transsexuals, and what an unbelievably difficult road they have in life….and then there are those who think that are “choosing” it. Who the hell would “choose” to go through all that torture with society?

      On the flip side though, one interesting thing. A friend of mine has a daughter who recently came out. Her family is awesome, totally accepting and loving, well it turns out their church is accepting as too. Some churches are displaying the rainbow symbol on the exterior as a way to say to lesbian/gay individuals they are welcome in the church. I guess this has been around for some time, but it is the first I heard of it.

      Here is a really interesting story along that vein:
      http://www.sctimes.com/article/20101011/OPINION/110110021/Times-Writers-Group-Anti-gay-bullying-seen-in-church

  2. Dr. Dana says:

    Love this post. I think we are extremely homophobic and sexist as well–as you mention, boys are punished much more for crossing gender lines than are girls. It’s sad that it feels so bold and revolutionary to allow boys to dress as girls, but in this culture, it does!

  3. LT says:

    Awesome mom for not caving and letting her son dress as he wants. It’s different for boys, due to inequality of the sexes. Women *still* make 30% less than males on average and I could go on.

    Keep in mind that since there is still gender inequality, as seen by the comments that the mothers made. Males who dress as seen as dressing ‘down’ b/c females are looked upon as lesser, because there is less value or worth as a female. Females who dress masculine are viewed as dressing ‘up’, which is why it’s ok for a female to dress as batman, but a male cannot dress as wonder woman, unless he is being campy or doing it for laughs.

    Gender is so socially constructed it’s ridiculous. The kids in his class thought nothing of it b/c it hadn’t been as ingrained yet.

    • mamaV says:

      Great point, well articulated.

      In this particular story, I really loved how the boy’s costume was rather “shocking” in terms of the bright colors, purse, etc (I mean this compared to a boy/man who dresses as a girl to be “campy” as you say). It’s like this kid was really sticking it to these moms without even realizing it….and look at him, look how totally proud of himself he is.

      Do you think he will still be proud of himself when he sees this picture at 15? Or will society have impacted him so much that he is ashamed of his actions?
      mV

  4. Lissa says:

    This just made me so sad to read … but I applaud the mom for encouraging her son to be who he wants to be and supporting him in the aftermath. I find it most interesting that it was the parents–not the kids–who had a problem with it.

  5. Kat says:

    So true that it’s ok for girls to be tomboys, it’s almost encouraged but because feminity is so devalued and boys who stray out of their rigid gender boxes are condemed. I’m inclined to see this as more sexist than homophobic. But aside from that, I think it’s awesome Boo got to express himself and his mom supported him.

  6. Rae says:

    I think this little boy is adorable, and kudos to him for being himself and dressing up like Daphne. And major thumbs-up to his fantastic and supportive mom! The finger-wagging neighborhood moms are making much ado about nothing. It’s ridiculous that it’s socially acceptable for girls to be tomboys, but heaven forfend a little boy show even the slightest inclination toward a feminine side and ‘degrade’ himself. I feel very fortunate to have had two amazing parents who never told me it was ‘not ok’ as a girl to want to be Johnny Appleseed for Halloween or play with He-Man action figures.

    A (hopefully relevant?) anecdote: at my wedding a few years ago, the flower girl was going to be dressed up as a fairy. The sweet little seven-year-old son of a friend was going to be the ring bearer. This kind-hearted, smart, and well-rounded little boy liked to dress up as female characters sometimes for Halloween, just like Boo. He even went as a mermaid one year. Upon hearing that the flower girl was going to be a fairy, he wanted to be a fairy, too. His father, who was unfortunately a person with the same narrow mindset as these stuffy neighborhood mothers, angrily exclaimed to him, “That’s just ridiculous! There’s no such thing as a male fairy!” I couldn’t help myself. I told the little boy, “That’s not true at all! There are lots of male fairies – in books, music, poetry – ever heard of Oberon? He’s the KING of the fairies!” With that exclamation, I simultaneously became this little boy’s hero and the #1 person at the top of his small-minded father’s shitlist for daring to put such “radical” notions into his son’s head. Puh-lease!

    Bravo to Boo and his mom.

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