Friday, December 9, 2016

A journey of self-compassion

I am excited to be a part of such an amazing community! For those of you who are not familiar with AndreasVoice.org let me share briefly. I was thrust into the eating disorder world when my daughter Andrea developed bulimia. Tragically, she died after just 13 months of behaviors at the age of 19. Since that time 12 years ago, I have learned so very much about not only eating disorders but about myself and most importantly about the absolute need for self-love and compassion.

Prior to our daughter’s death, I really didn’t like myself much and I certainly did not like my body. I grew up in a large family (12 children total). Around my sisters I always felt gigantic, I was taller and big boned to their petite, fragile frames and until my brothers got their growth spurts (after high school) I was larger and stronger than they, which embarrassed me continually. My body image started to falter in a big way by about third grade, which was when I went on my first diet.

Slowly, over the years, I’d finally come to understand that dieting was an exercise in futility yet it wasn’t until after Andrea’s death that I woke-up to the need to work on developing self-love and compassion. And it is that continuing journey that I look forward to sharing with you here.

As I was writing the bit about my embarrassment over my body’s abilities compared to my brothers’ I had the immediate thought, “How sad that I couldn’t see then how remarkable that was.” My body had natural strength and fortitude that I could see only as a liability. I have such compassion for that confused little girl ☺

The beauty is that learning to love ourselves is a process and there are days we are better at it than others. Those are the days we forgive ourselves and know that we get to begin the process again the next day (sometimes, the next minute).

I look forward to our journey together and invite you to share your body love processes and journey with me as well.

Until next time,

Doris

photo courtesy of metrue

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