Monday, January 25, 2021

40 Yr Old Victim of Drink Spiking

March 16, 2011 by  
Filed under Activism, Featured, Healthy Coping, Sharing Feelings

This Guest Post is by Snezna.

Date Rape Drug This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever written. As a journalist for many years and now a blogger, I wax lyrical about my views on various issues, hoping that someone may be interested in what I have to say. It is easy to write about things from a third party perspective. Writing about a personal experience is excruciating, which is why it’s taken me two weeks to write this.

I was a victim of drink spiking recently.

One minute I was coherent and completely normal. The next I was slurring my words, before falling into a dead sleep. Not that I have any recollection of acting like someone who was completely off her head. That is the most frightening part – a complete blackout of the evening from a certain point. Nothing. I found out from my friend, whom I was out dinner with, that I went from being totally fine to passed out drunk.

She confirmed that we had NOT consumed a lot of alcohol. I, of course, can’t recall the evening so have no concept of how much alcohol I did consume.

Without going into the details of the night, suffice to say there was a man who made himself known to me, who was insistent on talking to me and who I politely informed that I was not interested in. He persisted. I got a bit freaked out and decided to go to the rest room in the hope that he would be gone on my return. I left my drink on the bar, next to my friend. Within the space of about 20-30 minutes from me sipping on that drink after returning from the bathroom, I was gone.

I don’t recall getting home. I don’t recall how I got home.

I don’t recall if I was alone in the cab or with my friend. A total blackout. Turns out my friend got me home safe. Thank goodness.

Rohypnol, or the date rape drug as it’s known, takes affect within 30 minutes. Once it hits you simply appear as if you are very, very drunk. You feel drunk. You have problems talking. You black out. You can’t remember what happened while drugged. You feel very sleepy. You can experience stomach problems and pain. And, it can lead to death. The drug leaves the body quickly so, even if you wanted to, it’s very hard to prove that drugs were involved. Other drugs with similar affect include GHB and Ketamine (or Special K)

I didn’t even come to the conclusion that I may have been drugged initially. At first I was just disgusted in myself that I had allowed myself to get so drunk. Because I couldn’t recall certain parts of the evening, I couldn’t remember how much I had had to drink. So, given the state I was in, I assumed I had drunk so much that I passed out and couldn’t remember a thing.

It was a throw away line from my partner, who witnessed me being unable to keep my eyes open, slurring and incoherent, about whether I had taken any drugs that jolted back some elements of the evening.

As someone who does not do drugs, it started me thinking: could someone have spiked my drink? Then the over-bearing guy at the bar came back to me in flashes. The memory of me leaving my drink at the bar whilst I visited the restroom to get away from him. And then, after taking a few more sips of my wine — the nothingness. No memory at all of the rest of the evening.

My mind was awhirl with thoughts and emotions. Did I get my drink spiked or was I using that as excuse for my abhorrent drunken behaviour? How did I get home? Did I go straight home? Thankfully, my friend confirmed being with me the entire time and making sure I got home safe.

Then the fear of what could have been. What if the level of drug put in my drink was high enough to cause me to be ill….or to die? What if he had managed to get me away from my friend once the drug had taken affect? I could have been raped. I could have been killed. In the state I was in, did I give out my business card or number? Was there any chance that this creep could contact me/find me?

Then anger. What kind of mother$&@$# gets his kicks from drugging girls in order to get them to go home with him? How dare someone violate my choice and my right not to take drugs and give them to me unknowingly. How crap is that two women out alone might be seen as an easy target for this kind of thing.

Then embarrassment. I am a 45-year-old woman, how could I have been so stupid? I know this kind of things happens all the time. I felt that this guy was threatening. What possessed me to leave my drink exposed?

Relief. I know it could have been so much worse. I reminded myself I was lucky.

Shame. As much as I try to tell myself that this was not my fault, you do feel an element of shame. It’s shame that you let yourself be in that situation, when you should know better. Shame at what you may have been like in the moment. Because you can’t remember, you beat yourself up about how you may have acted. Shame as to why you had been singled out for this attack.

I am still grappling with my emotions. I am trying to put it behind me. If I think about it too much all those emotions I have recounted come back in all their glaring ferocity. I can’t even begin to imagine what I would be feeling had I woken up in a strange hotel room.

It took me till now to be able to share. As soon as I did, I can’t begin to tell you how many girls have told me it has happened to them. And, like me, most of them just didn’t talk about it because there is that emotional guilt/shame/confusion…

It sucks that this happens and is so common. It sucks that the possibility of rape can rear its ugly head in a public bar. It sucks that by the very nature of the drug and its effects that guys just get away with it. It sucks that even though you are the victim you still experience emotions of guilt and shame. It sucks that next time I go out, I won’t be the same carefree girl I normally am. I hope that sharing helps others be more aware and wary.

And, no matter what, don’t leave your drink unattended EVER!



11 Responses to “40 Yr Old Victim of Drink Spiking”
  1. Candice says:

    Oh my goodness, how terrifying and awful. I’m glad it turned out okay, but thank you for sharing. It’s important for all of us to remember that it doesn’t matter how old we are or who we’re with, we always have to keep an eye on our drinks when out. Scary.

  2. Suzy Q says:

    I am so sorry this happened to you. You are right that it is common and it makes me so angry. I think as women we are bombarded with messages of how to protect ourselves and be vigilent but we are human and so we are also given messages to be kind, polite, etc. You trusted your instincts by getting out of the situation after asserting your disinterest. Unfortunately the world can be a horrible place where you can’t even go out with a girlfriend for dinner and a drink without having to put yourself in a self protective bubble. Don’t blame yourself. there are many others you can be angry with: 1 that guy who put it in your drink 2. the lack of vigilence by bar staff (who are sometimes involved) 3. the lack of solutions the government and police have come up with.. at this point I feel like they are just saying: wow, this is a tough one to solve. I’d ask, where are these drugs coming from? there are people selling them, why are we so lax on drug sales? I’m just sick of it all. It really makes me angry that we can’t feel safe any more.

  3. Meems says:

    I had something very similar happen to me at a bar on New Year’s Eve several years ago. I was out with friends and and it was around 11:30 pm and then it was 6:30 am and I was waking up in my bed. I have no memory of the night. No memory of the drinking the drink that was most likely spiked. No memory of apparently making out with someone at midnight. No memory of vomiting multiple times or even of getting home.

    I’ve never in my life drunk to the point of blacking out and one of the worst parts of the experience was that my best friend didn’t believe I’d even been drugged. I, too, was lucky that I had people with me to make sure I got home safely.

    It’s scary and it’s violating. It took me a while to feel ok with even drinking again. Good luck.

  4. I had my drink spiked some years ago at a family barbecue of all things. My cousin and her partner were having a barbecue, had lots of friends along. I wasn’t drinking at all that night, as I was on medication at the time, and my cousin was pregnant, so we agreed to share soft drinks – even to the point of drinking out of the same glass. Thankfully she found the soft-drink was giving her heartburn and switched to water, or things could have turned terribly tragic.

    I remember a guy watching me intently, one of my cousin’s partner’s footy mates. I remember getting up to go into the kitchen to fetch something for the barbecue. Sitting back down at the seat next to my drink. That’s the last thing I remember.

    Unfortunately in my case, nobody realised anything was wrong, and they let me leave the party. Nobody knows what happened after then, until I woke up at home on my sofa the next day. Fortunately I found my own way home, but I have no recollection of about 14 hours. I don’t know where I went, what I did or what happened to me.

    When I called my cousin and her partner later, he was furious as apparently one of his footy mates (probably the same one) had spiked his drink at a team barbecue the week before, which he said was bad enough, but to come to his home and do it to one of his family members was just beyond belief. In hindsight, we don’t think the perpetrator was doing it to harm me in any way, only because he thought it would be funny to “get the fat chick off her face and see what she does.”

    I felt incredibly violated and I worried for a long time what I had been spiked with, because I have allergies to some drugs and worried that whatever it was would do me damage. We worried that my pregnant cousin might have consumed some, and that it may have harmed the baby. And of course I worried about what happened in the hours I lost.

    I still get angry at drink spiking, because not only does it put people at immediate risk, the person spiking the drink cannot know their victim’s medical history, what other drugs they may have ingested, or if they are pregnant.

    I don’t drink alcohol at all these days, partially because I feel it is too dangerous to do so with a culture so rife with drink spiking, AND because I want people to know that I am affected somehow, it is not because I am drunk.

  5. Snezna says:

    thank you all for sharing. I think that the more women open up and talk about it the better it is for anyone who has experiences this total violation. And, I agree, no-one seems to be doing anything about it. And, really, as women, we should not have to go out and be all vigilante about checking on drinks/who you talk to etc….but for now, that is the best we can do. thanks again for the comments

  6. I got roofied in July 2009, I am not over it yet, but feeling stronger.
    I was with a date, only the 2nd with him. After our first drink together, I remember nothing for the next 4 hours. I woke up in my car, in a field, flipped on it’s roof, hmmmm, there’s a title I think.

    I spent 4 days in Harris County Jail, charged with a d.u.i. and spent one tear’s probation on top of endless fees and court costs. I was in no condition to make a plea, but, kind of like a p.o.w., followed the voice “NEXT” and didn’t know that I could say, “I can’t remember a thing about that nite, what should I do?”

    Now, I want to completely dedicate my life to raise, no, START true public awareness,beyond beurocratic controlled “preventative” measures to take. I’d like to raise the awareness that 95% of all traumatized victims have committed suicide. Also that drink spykers will almost definitely get away with this coward’s way to get what they want. That law enforcememnt probably will be rolling their eyes when you share your experience, mostly because, they haven’t had sufficient tests on hand to administer testing. If they do, the victim goes without conviction which leaves them with no court cost fees, parole fiees, or any revenue for the county they work in…no arrest, no money for them.
    Can you tell I’m soo not over this? I have made it past the constant suicidal planning.


  7. Helen Connolly says:

    Thank you for publishing this. I am sitting waiting to go and give a statement to the city police about what happened to me last Friday. You put in to words what has been just turmoil for the most in my head. I am 48. I rarely go out nowadays, only because I am blissfully happy on my settee in my pyjamas with my dog. I was drawn to go and see a band in town. The guy I was meant to be going with text me while I was own the train to say he had a row with his girl friend and wouldn’t be coming.
    Had I known how the night would turn out I would have taken the next train home.
    My experiences were so like yours only that I ended up wandering alone in town, smashed my head on the pavement, (since had a CT scan for the trauma, luckiliy the headaches have only because i sprained my neck) have memories of voices and secondhand accounts of frightening occurrences but eventually someone got in touch with my brother and a taxi driver drove me home on trust as all my money was gone.
    Since then I have had a phone call from the voice who said he helped me, asking to meet me. Then I hear the second Good Samaritan, a woman got me out of being dragged in a car.. My heads a mess, but better than it was…
    Here is my lift, maybe giving a statement will help.
    Thank you again, Helen

  8. Clare blsck says:

    Pretty sure this happened to me at the weekend, I admit I was drinking but I’m 40 and drank the same amount as my 19 year old sister no more if not less than normal and I had eaten. One min dancing with my fiancé and after that no memory until I woke up with a plaster on my head and a bruise on my leg from apparently walking into the door frame in the middle of the night, can’t remember any of it, even my fiancé thinks someone put something in my drink because it happened so quickly

  9. John says:

    I too was a victim of someone putting some type of drug in my drink as a prank. Until it happened to me I always assumed this only happened to females. In fact, after it happened I was confused and thought I had drank too much. But after going over the events of the night before over and over again in y mind I could only come to the conclusion that someone spiked my drink. I typically have a bottle of wine on Fridays and a couple drinks with vodka or tequila on Saturday nights. On vacation or special occasions like NYE I will drink excessively and will get drunk so I know what it feels like to get drunk. But I always stop before I get too drunk because I don’t like the feeling. So, it’s NYE and I am having a good time, drunk but not staggering drunk, dancing with my family right after 12a then all of a sudden I couldn’t see anything and when I do I am outside of the restaurant looking at the security staff and wondering to myself, “How did I get outside? What am I doing outside?” After that everything went blank. There were brief snippets of memory of getting sick, of being driven, of being bathed but all in all no memory of anything from around 12:45a until I woke up at 10:30a. My family found me outside and they said they were asking me questions and I just looked at them without responding. They said they walked me down a side street, called a Uber, I got sick in the car the whole way home, they bathed me and put me to bed, none of which I have full memory of. In retrospect, they should have taken me to the ER. But none of us suspected, at the moment, that some jerk would be so heinous as to spike another human’s drink on NYE of all moments. Lesson learned.

  10. Angela Mensah says:

    People can be simply stupid! I grew up around people that could not talk me into “getting high”. I would hear remember someone saying, “wouldn’t it be funny” to see me this way? American culture puts so much emphasis on “having fun” and our perceptions of fun are so distorted that these kinds of experiences are not uncommon. Is’s sad.

  11. Jane says:

    I was out at nightclub looking for some entertainment initially, a band was performing….my drink tasted odd and I had tipped most of it out……left with dodgy types that would normally not appeal to me and felt tired all of a sudden, ran away hiding in long grass near a rocky cliff after a chain of shady events, guys coming after me with torch stating the suburb I lived in over and over again….ignoring my name…they refused to drop me back to where I was staying….I ran, my running seemed impaired….lost my voice…..could barely speak…..I was yelling help….near a camp grounds, the help scream was barely audible….I was knocking on caravan doors until finally a good family heard my knocks and my muffled scream for help….gave me a warm drink, rang a cab and were very caring….I consider myself lucky, I was about 30 minutes drive from where I should have been…….swan hill camp grounds

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