What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?
Inspired by the post by Kim at Adventures in Wanting last week, I wanted to further explore a topic she proposed that I found very interesting.
She essentially asked – knowing what you know now, if you could go back in time and talk to the young version of yourself, what would you say?
That really got me thinking.
The first thing I would tell myself is to look outside of my house for a good role model. It could have been a friend’s mom who I particularly liked and respected, a neighbor, a favorite aunt or older cousin. It would be someone who I could really talk with, someone who wouldn’t judge me and would give me good guidance. I think would have been key as I was growing up.
Closeness was not fostered in my house. I was a latch-key kid from a young age and my parents were just not emotionally available. I grew up quite independently, took myself to get birth control pills when I started having sex, things of that nature. It would have been really great to have another woman in my life who I could have gone to share my confidences, feelings, fears with etc.
I don’t know if a young me would have admitted to this role model that my mother hid junk food from me or that my father teased me about the size of my rear end, but hopefully this person would have helped me with my self-confidence, told me how beautiful I was no matter what size that I was, and that the health of my body was more important than how it looked. She hopefully would have told me to love myself, believe in myself and that I could do anything I set my mind to. She would have told me to set goals and dream big. These were not things that I heard from my parents.
I would also tell my younger self to stand up for herself. That when her dad makes comments about her rear end to stand up to him, tell him to stop and to mean it. To tell him he is hurting her instead of helping her, even if in his mind he thinks he is just doing some good-natured “teasing.”
I can’t say for sure whether or not if I in fact had a good role model and was able to stand up to my father that I would not have been, and grown up, a compulsive overeater/binger, but I would like to think it would have definitely helped.
What would you tell the younger version of yourself if you had the chance?