Reebok Better-Ass Shoes: Are we this stupid?
I stumbled upon an article about Reebok’s Easy Tone Shoes on Jezebel.
While they immediately whined sexism, the objectification of woman, yada yada yada…I’m shrieking “FOUL!”
Time out ladies, WE are 100% at fault for these ads. Actually 110%.
Let’s get a grip on reality here – WE drive this market. WE always have, and WE always will, until we stop complaining about being treated like a piece of meat and instead start believing in our true life purpose which has nothing to do with the shape or size of our butt, breasts, or any other part of our bodies.
I know, I know, I am a “Body Image Activist.” I am supposed to have empathy, compassion, and an outpouring of wisdom for all of our emotional issues surrounding our female frames. Well today it ain’t happening. I’m not in the mood. Call it tough love, call it what ever the hell you want to, but the truth is that after four plus years of talk-talk-talking about this topic, I am not seeing much change. Are you?
When I turn the mirror to myself, I can tell you that, without a doubt, being a model at 16 years of age was a God’s greatest blessing. What appeared at the surface to be an eating-disordered-exercise-obsessed-brain-washing nightmare actually turned out to be my Golden Ticket (I’ll let you in on a little secret…models hate their butts too. And their thighs, and their breasts, and shoulders, knees, toes….. you get the drift). Even when we achieve that Perfect Body Award it is fleeting, gone in the snap of the fingers, and its all down hill from there baby). So what are you going to do? Wallow in it? Plastify it? Or deal with it?
I chose to deal. And it’s not a stretch to say it saved my life.
So, frankly sometimes I am just plan sick of women talking endlessly about how much they hate their bodies, pumping themselves with plastic with complete and total disregard for their health, and then pouting their out stretched lips to tell us how they have “no self confidence” and always felt like an “ugly duckling.” Please — get over yourself already.
Are we this self absorbed? (Ahhh… that would be yes).
Are we this unaware of the atrocities going on in the world? (Apparently so)
Do we watch the Haiti coverage while pumping at the gym worrying if we look fat in the mirror? (Admit it.)
WOMEN are responsible for giving marketing execs the food for thought on these sexist, demeaning products due to all our wishful thinking and neurotic disillusionment that a $75 bottle of potion, or that ab cruncher for just two small payments of $19.95, and now a pair of rubber-frickin-sneakers are FINALLY going give us the body we have put our lives on hold for.
So, let’s stop blaming the world shall we?
WE are so totally pathetic, that Reebok had the gall to publish this study on how and why their magical shoes will create buns of steel:
Reebok commissioned a study from the University of Delaware, which tested five women on a treadmill with electronic sensors on their muscles. Electrical activity in the butt muscles-representing muscle movement-was 28% greater for the EasyTone shoes than for a typical Reebok walking shoe used as a control. Electrical activity was 11% greater for the hamstring and calf muscles while wearing the EasyTones.
The test involved only 500 steps, and Reebok acknowledges that the effect may diminish as wearers get used to the shoes.
Electrical activity in the “butt” muscles (not gluteus-maximus, to hell with the anatomical terms, these broads perk up at the mere mention of a better b-u-t-t).
A 500 step test (I am thinking that took a total of two maybe 3 minutes? This is some serious science people).
My prediction? These shoes will sell like hell.
Everyone’s butts will stay the same and we’ll be flipping hysterically through our fashion rags trying to find the next scam we can spend another $100 bucks on.
I’ll leave you with the commercial spots, that if I didn’t know better would appear to be spoofs from SNL.
“These shoes will ensure that “88% of men will be speechless, 76% of jealous, and 0% will know the reason is on your feet.”
“Make your boobs jealous!”