Sunday, January 17, 2021

Twitter Madness

January 13, 2010 by  
Filed under HAES

With permission, I borrowed the idea for this post from Judith Matz, LCSW, blogger at Diet Survivors Group and co-author of The Diet Survivor’s Handbook: 60 Lessons in Eating, Acceptance and Self-Care. At another point, I’ll share some of the wisdom from that book but it was the wisdom in her post Magazine Madness that got me to thinking it’d be a perfect topic of discussion here.

Just before New Year’s, Judith was perusing a newstand while waiting for a plane and, of course, what did she see but dozens of magazines with the same old tired headlines about how to lose weight as part of those infamous New Year’s resolutions.  She got the bright idea of making up her versions of those headlines, and I thought WATRD’ers could have some fun doing that here.

To start us off, here are a few Judith came up with:

Self Magazine: The Food Lover’s Diet – 31 Tiny Tricks That Peel Off Major Pounds
Judith’s version: The Food Lover’s Diet – Eat What You Love and Savor Every Bite

She certainly sounds like more of a food lover than Self.

or, and this was the best of her post, imo,

Woman’s World: Break Through Ohio State University BELLY FAT CURE! Discovery – Two Spoonfuls Of This Oil Will Block Fat Storage! Melt 5″ Of Belly Fat – No Diet Required!

Judith’s version: Woman’s World Announces Bankruptcy As Readers Boycott Magazine Due To Outrageous Claims!

As I don’t have many magazines lying around the house, and didn’t make it to any newsstands before sitting down to write this post, I thought I’d browse Twitter and see what outrageous tweets I could find and come up with my version of them.  I’m not that clever but I figure if I set the bar pretty low, many of you will be inspired to jump over it by seeing what you can come up with. So here goes:
Original tweet: Curious about Shakeology???? Check out the money back guarantee.  There’s no reason not to try it today!
My version: Curious about Shakeology???? Oh, okay.  Sorry.  Just thought I’d ask.
Original tweet: Set deadlines and then reward yourself when you lose weight!
My version: Stop dieting and reward yourself for taking care of yourself.
Original tweet: NutriSystem’s Future Appears Bright
My version: NutriSystem’s Future Appears Bright; Their Clients?  That’s a Different Story
Original tweet: 3 pounds in 3 days… very happy about that.
My version: 3 pounds down in 3 days… very happy. 5 pounds up in 2 days…!@#$%
Want to share your versions of headlines or tweets about weight loss that get your ire up?


2 Responses to “Twitter Madness”
  1. McLauren84 says:

    Haha, I love it. Those magazine headlines are so ridiculously interchangeable. I find the same goes for magazines like Cosmo. Every issue contains variations of the same few headlines:

    “10 Tricks to Blow His Mind in Bed!”
    “Flat Abs in 5 Minutes a Day”
    “Fall Fashion: How to Wear Trends at Every Size”
    “Orgasm YOUR Way to Better Skin!”

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