Sunday, October 23, 2016

She is her own SUPERHERO.

August 22, 2009 by  
Filed under Talking To Kids

Subtitle: hectic days in my part of the world. Im always reading and commenting if not able to frequently post. The below is crossposted at my site:

What one thought do I have rattling around in my head?

A story.

One which I know doesn’t hold much weight now (as Im Mama enough to realize at this point she’s merely parroting what she’s heard around the house) but one which I pray is indicative of the woman she will grow to be.

This weekend my daughter ran around the park with a towel tucked into the back of her shirt.

She climbed, swung, jumped, ran, skipped, rolled, & cheered (herself on).

One of the fathers approached her, touched the towel and asked if it were her cape.

After she nodded he inquired if she were Super Girl.

She said no.

He asked if she were Superman.

She shook her head.

He ran thru a litany of superheroes (some of whom Id never heard) & the Tornado stubbornly informed him each time that was not whom she was.

When he finally asked her: What superhero are you then?

She exclaimed “Im my own superhero!!!” & ran off to play.

As members of my tribe say: I KVELLED.

And then I prayed.

I prayed that this seemingly insignificant exchange might be the spark which ignites the flame of her truly believing she is her own superhero.

The start of the realization that everything she needs already exists within her & merely awaits her discovery.

Even on my worst days I believe I am my own superhero if only by virtue of the fact that I find it within myself to keep on keepin’ on.

And on my best day? I KNOW Im my own damn superhero because I know I can move mountains.

I know there’s nothing I cant do if I try (you know, due to my superhero status) and Im not afraid to try.

And you?

Please to indulge me. Please to compliment yourself.

How have you acted as your own superhero lately?

What have you done which even *you* almost weren’t certain you could?

Or, if you dare say you’ve NOT been your own superhero as of late, how will you make time & effort this weekend to don a virtual cape ?

Please to hit us all up in the comments.

and yeah. I SO WISH I had a cape to give away. please to imagine.



11 Responses to “She is her own SUPERHERO.”
  1. Beth says:

    This sounds really minor, but a major achievement I’ve done was to be home alone all night and I didn’t mindlessly eat. I beat my hungry monster and focused on other things, this is huge for me.

  2. Karyn says:

    Recently I sucked it up and took my daughter for a hike on the trails in the forest. I love that nature stuff and so does she and it really wasn’t fair that she couldn’t enjoy it because her mother has so many fears. So, we packed up some water and ourselves and out we went. We had a blast!

  3. Em says:

    WARNING – This is long! And, it has nothing to do with body image. However, I have told my story to everyone, everywhere, and I just can’t help myself.

    I have never commented here before. However, I love this topic!

    Ironically, I have had good reason to ponder this topic lately. The month of August has been “employee appreciation month” at my office. This basically means that each day we are asked to come to work dressed according to some theme. Next Friday is “superhero day.”

    When I first heard this, I thought, “Oh, crap, I don’t own any Bat Man costumes.” I thought for a few minutes about how I could dress as a superhero, and then it hit me…I ALREADY AM A SUPERHERO.

    One year ago, I would have never thought of myself in such a manner. Unfortunately, it took an unfathomable tragedy to help me realize just what kind of mountains I am capable of moving.

    The story is so…very…long and has many twists and turns, but I will try to present the gist of it:

    On August 29th of last year, an erratic driver crossed the double yellow line and hit my husband [best friend, and soul mate] head on as he was driving to work. He was unconscious at the scene. I saw him at the hospital before he went into surgery–he had a hole in his skull, and I could see his brain. It is the most horrific thing I have ever seen.

    On the eve of our two year wedding anniversary, the doctors gave me the results of the MRI. They told me that he would remain in a permanent vegetative state. At the time, he was lying motionless in the bed with his fists clenched tightly. When the doctor said, “Most likely, how you see him is how he will be,” I entered a state of extreme shock. If my mother had not been with me, I would have never made it out of there in one piece.

    At first, I believed the doctors. I believed there was nothing I could do to change my husband’s apparently hopeless future. I was miserable. I was lost.

    After a few days, something kicked in. I wanted to find out for myself what kind of chances my husband had for a meaningful recovery. I began doing my own research. I quickly learned that it *is* possible to recover from such an injury, but that it is impossible to predict who will recover and who will not only two weeks post-injury. In addition, even those who recover only do so with many years or intense therapy and 100% family support. Because of such troubling uncertainty, doctors try to do families a “favor” and prepare them for the worst.

    Anyway, I dug up every story I could find about people who have recovered from injuries similar to my husband’s. I took note of everything these people’s families did for them to help them recover, and I swore to myself that I would do all of it for my Drew.

    My family immediately supported me. However, doctors thought we were delusional. The more compassionate ones pitied us. Some of them tried to inflict guilt upon us for putting my husband through such “unnecessary” misery. I quickly learned not to mind them. I am as smart as they are, if not smarter. The only difference between them and me is that they went to medical school while I decided to become a computer programmer. I vowed to myself that I would never allow myself to be intimidated by any doctor, and I have kept that promise.

    While I do not believe in keeping someone alive indefinitely in a PVS, I just knew that my husband deserved a fair chance to recover. He is an amazing man, and I have always had this feeling that he has what it takes to be one of the “lucky” ones. So, with the help of my wonderful family, I began my own therapy regimen, and I stuck to it. I also began transforming my naturally pessimistic self into a fountain of positive energy–holy crap, this has been hard!

    Fast-forward one year…

    My husband is out of the coma! He began to show definite signs of awareness around the 3-month mark and just recently emerged to consistent responsiveness. He is able to identify all of his family members, even those whom he does not see regularly. He is working on re-learning self-care activities. He plays catch with us. He puts puzzles together with us. He hugs and kisses me!

    He is still unable to speak and only communicates via hand gestures and pointing. *However,* he makes progress on a weekly basis, as he has now recovered enough cognitive function to be able to learn and retain information. So far, his road to recovery has been quite consistent with the many “miracle” recovery stories that I have read. With his type of injury, it is slow, steady, but sure. The fact that he has made so much progress before the one year mark means that he has a significant chance for continued improvement and eventual good recovery.

    As for myself, I feel as though I have survived a trip to hell and am now confidently making my way back. For months, i was suicidal. At the very least, I wanted to quit my job and just start sleeping 24/7. For the first few months, I was so messed up that i could not even sleep alone. Imagine a 24-year-old woman sleeping in bed with her parents–pretty pathetic!

    Now, after almost one year, I am back working full time and then some at my job, I am getting ready to return to school to finish my MS degree, and I do about two hours of therapy with my husband every day (ok, ok, sometimes we are both exhausted so we just nap together…but we have lots of awesome family members who make sure that Drew gets therapy all day long). I have also been able to keep the “dream home” that my husband and I shared, as I know we will someday return there together.

    So, why am I a superhero? I fight traumatic brain injury, or, as I say on my blog, I kick it in the behind. I must say that I am proud of myself for not giving up in the face of a seemingly impossible situation. I honestly never thought I had all of this will in me to fight like I’ve been doing. i am on a mission, and I will not stop until Drew makes a full recovery. Recently, he has been able to express to me that he’s in on this mission as well. It is so rewarding to see my best friend coming back to me. And now I feel as though we both can do anything!

    Every night, I tell Drew that he is my hero. I hope that he thinks of me as his hero. One good superhero deserves another, right?

  4. MizFit says:

    THANKS SO MUCH YOU GUYS FOR SHARING (and yea, especially you Em. your long comment is so appreciated).

    When I posted this at MizFit I was stunned by the comments as well.

    People who did NOT see their thru-my-eyes Superhero feats as anything major and people whos lives are jampacked with superhero worthy DAILY events about which I had no clue.

  5. laurelg1 says:

    Awesome story Em, glad you never gave up. Love this post too – if only we had the vision as a child. This post reminded me of a shirt my 8 year old has. It says “I am my own reality TV star”. It fits her so well too.

    I have sat pondering a response to this post and I just don’t think I have one. I did however grow up using the motto “go for it”, I think that was a popular ism at that time anyway. It’s a great one to live by though, because if you don’t ever “go for it”, you are not likely to get “it”.

    Here is my comment: I went back to work this week (work for a school). No one has seen me since May and my health has improved. I knew it would be hard taking “compliments” on my health, but I made it, and am glad the first step is over. (If only people knew how to use their words – “did you gain weight? you look better” – stupid people).

  6. McLauren84 says:

    Wow, that story truly brought tears to my eyes, Em! It made me stop and think about how truly luck and grateful I am. You really are a superhero–in every way! I will definitely never forget your story, and I know your husband will recover. You both sound incredibly strong.

    Excellent post, Miz!

  7. Peepers says:

    What a cool story, MizFit. It makes me miss my little 9-year old friends. I cannot get enough of little girls at that age when they have a lot of nerve and confidence. I wish women got to keep that nerve all of our lives.

    I don’t have my own superhero story to share right now. I’m just doing things one day at a time lately. I’m pretty sure that’s appropriate for me. I’m no less happy for those of you who are feeling like superheros.

  8. lissa10279 says:

    Love love love love love this story! Your little superhero sounds like one smart cookie!

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