I am Jane…still…and that’s okay
Last month I saw the debut of the new Lifetime series Drop Dead Diva. I was so moved by it that I simply had to blog about it with a post titled “I am Jane”. (Because when I blog I bring my thoughts into focus. It is very empowering. But I digress.) The show, and my upcoming road trip East, spurred me to make a new directive for my life, one to #ChangeMyShape! (Which I also blogged and tweeted about-do you see a pattern here?) Well, here I am weeks later, just days before my road trip, mired in reality. I don’t believe I have changed much at all.
At first I worked out with my new Wii EA Active Sports. I would workout whenever possible, even after a full evening of soccer! (YES, I AM A SOCCER MOM.) It felt great for the first week or so, and then my children discovered it and I had to fight them for my time. (Which was tough because they out number me 3 to 1.) Then I got extremely busy with taxes and correspondence, and I lost days to being an entrepreneur. Next I had back to back shows, thus losing more days to being a gypsy performer! And now…here we are, or shall I say here I am, still Deb in Jane’s body.
You know, I get so frustrated when I see all of these commercials and news bites about celebrities who are able to take 40, 50 or even 60 lbs off just by doing THIS exercise or THAT eating plan. It is just not that simple! Life often gets in your way, especially if you have a demanding job, or if you are a parent, or both! Though I am beginning to accept that I am Jane, I really do want to change my shape- or tighten it to be exact. Just a bit so my clothes lay smoother and I have more energy to hang with my kids. I actually eat very well, not a lot of sugar or bread/pasta, no red meat etc… I am very active. (Any of you who have seen my concerts knows exactly how crazy active I am!) What I don’t get is sleep, and that seems to be the big kicker for me. At 39 my metabolism feels to be dead in the water, and without sleep I can’t reignite the pilot light so I can burn my shape into a tighter form.
So, I say to Marie Osmond and Valerie Betinelli, (two of my absolute idols when I was growing up), I am happy for you, really. But please, please, please stop making me feel as though there is a simple path to your bikini bodies, because there isn’t. I am so tired of feeling guilty that I can’t just #changemyshape lickity split. So tired of feeling less than when I look around me or at the TV. So tired of cringing when I see myself in pictures… I AM TIRED. And therein lies the problem.