Sunday, January 24, 2021

Eager for 30

August 5, 2009 by  
Filed under Loving Your Body, Self-Acceptance

Two months from now (ok, technically October 2), I will turn 30.

The big 3-0

But is it really such a big deal?

Honestly, I don’t fear 30, especially since so many people today (if they’re both lucky and healthy) end up living well into their 80s or older.

Rather, I’m excited for it. Eager, even.

I think of my 20s as true learning years, building years: my education, my career, my friendships and relationships (I met my husband when I was 20).

And these years were also about building a relationship with myself, perhaps the most important relationship of all.

Allow me to share one of my favorite quotes from the series’ finale of my favorite show, Sex & the City:

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
Carrie Bradshaw

Everytime I read this quote, I smile, remembering the fabulous foursome in their fabulous 30s and how by the time the show ended, they were in their 40s (and still just as fabulous!).

That quote gives me hope that I can say sayanara to my food/weight issues for good someday … by truly loving myself.

It goes without saying that it was in my mid-to-late 20s that I created this disordered eating monster … and I’d like to lay her to rest as I enter this new decade.

I’m not naïve to think I won’t still struggle at times with my weight or self-image … but I hope to fill my days with more meaning, more substance.

I hope that through blogging here and on my own blog, that there will be way more positive days than negative ones. And I anticipate my focus will change as my life changes. Blogging might even become a thing of my past; who knows. (Not to worry; I am not going anywhere right now!)

Ultimately, I hope my 30s will be an extension of those building years — and that in my 30s, we’ll start a family of our own (which I’m well aware will present a host of challenges for someone like me — something I discussed last year here).

Yet today, I couldn’t feel more excited about the notion of getting there, becoming a mom someday.

I think when the focus is off me and on something else — something that will be fully dependent on me for survival, in the womb and then once born and growing — that I will be forced to change my thinking. It will be the ultimate example of flooding, to use one of my (former) therapist’s CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) techniques.

And you know what? I don’t think it’s such a bad thing. Again, I hope to embrace it when the time comes.

For the first time in my life, I don’t have any unrealistic expectations for this first year of my newest decade; I just want to feel fulfilled in everything I’m doing.

Mindless eating, emotional-eating, over-exercising … none of those behaviors are “fulfilling.”

I deserve more than that; we all do. I think all too often we don’t treat ourselves like we would treat a friend. (Roni talked about that here last week and I totally agreed).

And so over these next two calendar months — my last in my 20s — I’d like to embrace the notion of treating myself (and my body) as a friend.

Because I know how to be a good friend to others (loyal, listening, patient, empathetic); I just haven’t been a very good friend to myself (or my body) the past few years.

I want to be a more fabulous friend to myself in my 30s, so I can be a more fabulous wife, daughter, sister, friend … and (someday) parent to my children.

I might as well start practicing that now. I mean, really … why wait?

How about you? Was there an age you feared? Embraced?

This Guest Post submitted by Melissa



21 Responses to “Eager for 30”
  1. hanlie says:

    I’m turning 40 one month from today. I dreaded 40 from the moment I turned 39… in fact that birthday was an emotional low for me. Yet, over the last six months or so I have gained so much confidence in the way I’m living my life and in my future that I am now very excited to hit the big 4-0. Can’t wait! I am so much better off now than I was a year ago, and I have every reason to believe that I will be even better at 41. The future is bright, and the present is pretty awesome too!

  2. bloowillbooks says:

    I’m in the middle of my thirties and I’m loving them. Not long ago my younger sister-in-law was stressing about turning thirty. I told her that my thirties have been the years where I’ve truly settled into my skin.

    The things for which I strove in my twenties (education, career, kids etc etc) are the things I have in my thirties. I’ve stopped trying to please everybody and have focussed instead on pleasing myself (which strangely results in everyone else being happy).

    Considering how far I’ve come from my twenties to thirties, I think I’m going to be really excited to see what my forties bring!

  3. mamaV says:

    40 a few weeks ago and I ADORE IT.

    its as hanlie says: Im so much better happier now than ever before. IM SO MUCH MORE ME.

    I no longer (finally) see myself through the eyes of others but only through my own.

    now catch me at 50.

    Im a little…apprehensive about 50 🙂

    that sounds so grown up.

    xo xo,


  4. bri says:

    My life pretty much began when I was 30. It has been so much better since then (I am nearly 36) than it was for the 29 years before that birthday. I wasn’t worried about turning 30 but I am wondering about 40… but then I have some kick ass friends who are in their mid 40s now and they continue to rock my world so I am sure I will cope when it is my turn!

  5. inthemainstream says:

    I have it on good authority by many women I admire that life has gotten better and better every year, especially once you get out of the mess that is your 20s. So, basically, I cling to that.

  6. Debbra says:

    I am turning 58 in a few months. I too have struggled with body image issues all my life. I have found in the last 2 1/2 years that you can be better and look better no matter what your age. It took me this long to realize that everything begins with how you feel about yourself and how you treat yourself. You must truly love yourself first and feel worthy of self love before you can give love to others. As I approach the end of my fifties, I find that I am more content with myself than I have been in my entire life. Aging is inevitable, getting old is not. It’s about about your mindset.

  7. I turned 40 in May, thought I would have a horrid time but really I have accepted it truly is just a number, it does not and WILL not define me or who I am. I am NOT a number.

  8. Candice says:

    I love my 30s – I’m so much more secure about who I am and what I want out of life. I worry that when I hit 40 I’ll feel like I’ve hit the plateau of life, which will be followed by the slow decline.

    I like your line about treating yourself and your body like a friend – I like it a lot. Maybe if I can start on that now (I’m almost 34), when I get to 40 I’ll be even more secure about myself and really love myself so that decade will be even more rewarding.

  9. jessica says:

    i turn 30 in october, too – october 9th. and like you, I’m excited. I’m in a great place in my life, happy with my self, happy in my marriage, and supremely happy as the mom to a 3-year old girl. to me, my 20’s have been somewhat an extension of my teen years, filled with hurt, sadness, rejections, insecurities, angst, lots of self-questioning…I mean it got MUCH better, obviously – i met and married my husband, moved overseas and back and had a baby, and for the first time in my life put my heath and fitness first and found peace with myself, but I’m ready to start this new phase of my life in a good spot. with a clear head and the confidence to be, as MiZFit has inspired, UNAPOLOGETICALLY MYSELF! If people don’t like the person I am – oh well – I DO. I finally do, and no one, NO ONE will can take that from me anymore.

  10. McLauren84 says:

    I turn 25 on Saturday. I’m excited! It feels like full-fledged adulthood. I know many things I’ve been working for the past few years will come to fruition soon–my hard-fought promotion, possibly getting engaged to my boyfriend of 5 years, considering buying a house. So much excitement! I think I’ll regard my 30s similarly when I arrive at that point.

    I love that you quoted SATC–I think, despite its flaws, that show did a lot of de-stigmatize older women. Maybe life truly BEGINS after 30!

  11. mousearoo says:

    I turn 30 in two weeks.

    I feel just about the same way and even look at SATC in the same way now.

    I have been thinking A LOT lately about the way in which I saw myself at 30 in my teens and early 20s.

    I always pictured myself starting a family at 30 but I am nowhere near that ideal.

    I think, actually, that I’m happier with the way things have turned out. That I’m healthier than I could have pictured myself then, I have the best family in the world and that things will only get better.

    No fear in getting old. Just excitement for what is to come.

  12. lissa10279 says:

    Love all these comments!

  13. Terrie says:

    I’m in my mid 30s and I now look back to ten years ago and laugh for dreading the big 3-0. I sort of have the same thoughts as turning 40 but I think by the time that day comes, I’ll be ready to slide into it. Enjoy your 30s! They’re great. 🙂

  14. Beth says:

    I’m also excited about my 30s, the 20s were definitely a struggle and learning experience. I am excited for the 30s since I am wiser and better equipped for life’s challenges.

  15. Abby says:

    I cannot wait to turn 30 in September. I’m looking forward to spending my thirties becoming fit and embracing the body – whatever body – is the result of me being able to climb mountains.

    Women in their thirties have always seemed so grounded and settled with who they were. It seems the 20’s are this fast journey to self-discovery with a lot of bumps along the way. The 30’s are the slow ease into really knowing who you are and where you belong in this world!

  16. Karyn says:

    40. I will be 40 on Monday. It used to not bother me at all, just another day, until my mom past away at Christmas from a stroke. She was only 60. Through my mother’s death, I learned that my grandmother and grandfather were 61 and 60 when they past away. Both from strokes. Now I have an irrational, huge fear of turning 40 and possibly only 20 years left to my life. And I am talking a stomach turning, panic attack fear!

  17. mizztcasa says:

    Your words truly touched me. As a 21 year old, I’m just now starting to build all those things you listed..and it has been a struggle (as life is). I’ve struggle with my body image, my self esteem, making and maintaining meaningful friendships, figuring out what I what to do in life (career-wise), and figuring out who I am.

    I don’t know if most 20-somethings feel the same way I do, but I know I can’t wait to reach my 30s; hopefully, by then I will be rooted in who I am and will have people around me who will truly be there for me.

  18. i-geek says:

    I turned 31 a few months ago. I can definitely say that I am enjoying my 30s much more than I enjoyed my 20s. I feel like my 20s were spent figuring out who I was and who I wanted to be as an adult; at this point I know who I am and what I want and am in a much better position to make things happen. I’m also at a point in my life where I’ve stopped caring so much about what other people think. As someone who used to fake illness to avoid being bullied in middle school, this is unbelievably freeing.

  19. missincognegro says:

    Why is it that decade birthdays wreak such fear and havoc for so many people? The fact that we’re blessed to reach a given decade is a blessing. So many people – famous, infamous and otherwise – don’t manage to accomplish this goal. I did not dread turning 30, or turning 40, and I look forward to reaching 50, Lord Willing.

  20. lissa10279 says:

    Happy birthday to all the birthday girls–a year older and a year wiser. 🙂


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