Eager for 30
Two months from now (ok, technically October 2), I will turn 30.
The big 3-0.
But is it really such a big deal?
Honestly, I don’t fear 30, especially since so many people today (if they’re both lucky and healthy) end up living well into their 80s or older.
Rather, I’m excited for it. Eager, even.
I think of my 20s as true learning years, building years: my education, my career, my friendships and relationships (I met my husband when I was 20).
And these years were also about building a relationship with myself, perhaps the most important relationship of all.
Allow me to share one of my favorite quotes from the series’ finale of my favorite show, Sex & the City:
“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”
Everytime I read this quote, I smile, remembering the fabulous foursome in their fabulous 30s and how by the time the show ended, they were in their 40s (and still just as fabulous!).
That quote gives me hope that I can say sayanara to my food/weight issues for good someday … by truly loving myself.
It goes without saying that it was in my mid-to-late 20s that I created this disordered eating monster … and I’d like to lay her to rest as I enter this new decade.
I’m not naïve to think I won’t still struggle at times with my weight or self-image … but I hope to fill my days with more meaning, more substance.
I hope that through blogging here and on my own blog, that there will be way more positive days than negative ones. And I anticipate my focus will change as my life changes. Blogging might even become a thing of my past; who knows. (Not to worry; I am not going anywhere right now!)
Ultimately, I hope my 30s will be an extension of those building years — and that in my 30s, we’ll start a family of our own (which I’m well aware will present a host of challenges for someone like me — something I discussed last year here).
Yet today, I couldn’t feel more excited about the notion of getting there, becoming a mom someday.
I think when the focus is off me and on something else — something that will be fully dependent on me for survival, in the womb and then once born and growing — that I will be forced to change my thinking. It will be the ultimate example of flooding, to use one of my (former) therapist’s CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) techniques.
And you know what? I don’t think it’s such a bad thing. Again, I hope to embrace it when the time comes.
For the first time in my life, I don’t have any unrealistic expectations for this first year of my newest decade; I just want to feel fulfilled in everything I’m doing.
Mindless eating, emotional-eating, over-exercising … none of those behaviors are “fulfilling.”
I deserve more than that; we all do. I think all too often we don’t treat ourselves like we would treat a friend. (Roni talked about that here last week and I totally agreed).
And so over these next two calendar months — my last in my 20s — I’d like to embrace the notion of treating myself (and my body) as a friend.
Because I know how to be a good friend to others (loyal, listening, patient, empathetic); I just haven’t been a very good friend to myself (or my body) the past few years.
I want to be a more fabulous friend to myself in my 30s, so I can be a more fabulous wife, daughter, sister, friend … and (someday) parent to my children.
I might as well start practicing that now. I mean, really … why wait?
How about you? Was there an age you feared? Embraced?
This Guest Post submitted by Melissa